(God, I'm witty. Or something.)
Anyhow, my cohorts and I have been having a bit of trouble re-acclimating ourselves to life after Fresno seeing as we not only had an awesome time, but we also a) got bigger audiences than we ever get in LA, b) didn't have to beg or guilt ANY of our audience members to get them there, and c) actually turned a profit while d) doing something that makes us happy.
And now we're back to normal.
Back to our own Valley. Back to survival jobs. Back to the struggle of trying to make happiness, success, fulfillment and financial security merge in some way.
It kind of sucks.
I know I'm feeling a bit low just because for the first time since... shit, sometime last spring, I don't have a show to work on. Hence, I'm scrabbling for any audition I can get myself into. I feel like I'm wasting my time if I'm not. It's weird though, because even though I'm nervous about how little I have going on right now, I'm kind of sinking into it and over-compensating by really, really doing nothing. Staying in bed way too late, letting junk pile up on my floor, sitting around watching movies instead of finding something productive to do. I did make soup and bread from scratch the other day, so that was good. And then I let my vain-consumer-side take over and I bought a new pair of shoes. But that's the thing: these have been the highlights of my days. Oh, and I saw a couple shows yesterday, but nothing that made me feel like I was doing anything. Except when I edited some stuff I shot last year and I did clean my room today...
Maybe I'm doing more than I realize, but I'm not registering it because it's all taking place inside my apartment.
It's not that bad, I guess. I just need to get back to my old swing. And maybe a new swing or two.
