Snap out of it!

It's no secret that I am, how do you say, susceptible to bad moods and negativity. If it's around me, it hits. If it hits, it sticks. I recognized the extent to which I do this about midway through last year and resolved to change. I keep resolving to change, but it's a work in progress. There are always going to be days when something pisses me off. And when something pisses me off, I want to tell someone about it to get it out of my system. And while that makes me feel better, I need to realize that this only perpetuates the negativity and passes my bad vibes to them, bringing them down. This isn't fair. I need to find a way to make myself feel better and purge myself of the negativity without spreading it to others.

However at the same time, if it's a person I spend a lot of time around, I feel compelled to tell them what happened during my day. It's what I do. I talk, a lot, and I have a tendency to pull conversation topics from things that happened to me in the very recent past. Sometimes they are good, sometimes they are not.

So... what do I do?
Do I only talk about the good things that happen to me during the day? Because that sounds boring. And phony. At the same time, I don't want to drive people I care about away by having a bad attitude. Moreover, after having brought up the crappier points of my day, the realization that I am bringing others down completely depresses me.
I don't want to be that person.
I don't want to be that other person either.

Well, fuck, this has gotten more depressing than I intended. This was not my initial point at all. I got sidetracked. Bad Dana. My point was that I am trying to be more positive.

Now I was having a conversation with this woman I just met this morning who was brimming over, bursting to talk about this movie she saw (3 times yesterday, in fact) called "The Secret". I know very little about the film other than Greg watched it and seemed to have a similar response, and that Oprah is now promoting it. Ah, the bond between Oprah and Greg! (That's not fair, I can't make fun of him while he's in the desert.)

Anyhow, she was talking about how in order to get what you want, you have to "ask for it". By this, I took it to mean that you have to really want it, accept that it is what you want from your life. Which I can accept as a reason why I have yet to succeed at acting, seeing as I have trouble even admitting aloud that to be a successful actress is what I ultimately want. Therefore until I can admit that I want to act professionally, I won't.

So that's why I'm saying this:
I want to be an actress. A real one. I want to get paid for it and I want it to be my job. I don't want to have to work at a crappy office answering phones. I want to be an actress.

Take that, universe.