Lame, lame and lame again!

Metrocities has its firewall back up and running. Which means no MySpace. Poop.

I'm practically bursting with excitement for the new DK show! I don't even know what to do with myself, I'm so stoked. I can't eat, sleep and breathe DK because that will pay no bills. Sadly. That gets me thinking though...

Why don't my skills pay the bills? Isn't that what they're supposed to do? How is it that the only skill of mine that pays bills is my ability to talk to people as if I like them? The other day I was rambling to Greg about my latest cooking project and he asks, "Why don't you do something with that?" Like what? I don't care to make food at a restaurant, I want to create my own recipes. The only ways I could see "doing something" with my recent cooking obsession is a) culinary school (not gonna happen), b) go on one of those crappy cooking reality shows (also not gonna happen; I'm a glutton but not for punishment), or wait until I become successful enough in something else to be able to afford luxury time in which I just freaking come up with crazy recipe ideas and cook. None of these are too logical. Damn.

One of these days, I'm going to have a job that makes me money that I actually enjoy and look forward to doing. I swear. It'll happen. One of these days.

Matt was right. Everybody hates!

Before delving into my blog, I implore you first to read this article.

For those of you too lazy to do so, I'll summarize. The article basically discusses how everybody shits on LA and how Angelinos are looked upon as vapid, soul-less cretins. For which part, most are. And I agree with a good deal of what the writer says. Except for one thing.

The way she talks, it's like LA is looked at as the bottom of America's societal barrel. The worst of the worst, the back of the short bus, the last kid picked for kick-ball. There's no one for our types left to pick on since everyone looks down on us.

Are you freaking kidding me? Have we forgotten about the Midwest???

The only thing Midwesterners are looked upon for favorably are strong work ethics, good crop production and the city of Chicago. Other than that, our folks in the forgotten area between coasts are looked at basically as red-state bumpkins who set the "middle America" curve and made Larry the Cable Guy famous. And also for providing a steady stream of morons into LA.

But as a representative and refugee from the Midwest, I'm here to say that we still have a group to make fun of while huddled drinking beer in our barns: Southerners. We still see them as slow, inbred hicks who are less socially enlightened than we are.

See! Everyone in America has a group they see as dumber-than-them! And while New Yorkers can defame us and our hippy-dippy attitudes, we can at least take solace in having a higher population of people than pigs. Suck it, Iowa!

Go cram Christmas!

So I've been in denial of the fact that Christmas is advancing due to the fact that society has been cramming holiday cheer down my cram-hole (up my cram-hole?) for the last... well shit, since right after Halloween really. And because of this, I've been suspended in a "it's so far away it can't touch me" kind of state.

Until today when I looked at my planner and realized that I leave for Illinois 2 weeks from tomorrow. Yikes.

It's not that I'm worried about getting Christmas shopping done or any of that crap.

It's not that I'm dreading going home.

I'm not even as worried as I should be about missing 2 weeks of work.

The year is ending. Again.
This was a good year as far as years go. 2006 was really good. 2005 was OK but 2004 was pretty damn rough. And some self-proclaimed psychic named Sandra on Sunset Blvd. stopped me on the street to tell me that she noticed my aura and said I was going to have a terrific career year so... maybe it's just cause I look like a sucker, but I'd like to think I've got Sandra on my side here.

Next year looks promising.
Now let's see how the end of this one goes...